I have little games I play, smallish magics, in the hopes that I’ll gradually stop missing Kid A and Dan.
Kid A had a problematic relationship with the mice. He ate in his room constantly and left food lying around, so of course the mice liked to hang out in his room. Their little mouse bustling would wake him up at night. So he bought a BB gun and took potshots at them from his bed. Needless to say, no mouse has ever been safer. So he brought in the heavy artillery: Mike the cat.
I have an unproblematic relationship with mice. I don’t like them. I don’t like them digging tunnels and gnawing at things and leaving poo everywhere. The main reason I like to keep a cat is that cats kill mice better than I do.
Mike caught several, and was having a grand old time doing it. But he also got in the habit of knocking on Kid A’s door when he wanted to come in and hunt, and one time he got locked in and peed on the bed. At about the same time, Kid A decided mice were cute.
He started leaving food out for them.
Of course, when he went off to Basic a couple weeks ago, the first thing I did was toss the food and sweep up the mouse droppings. Mike lurked outside the closet door, but without any incentive to come back, the mice didn’t cooperate. Neither Kid B nor I leave food lying around, so the mice mostly stay down in the basement now. Either that or they’ve gone off to bother our neighbors.
The only thing left from the whole business is a lot of bright yellow BBs that have rolled into every corner of the house. After the initial sweep-up, I’ve allowed myself to pick up one BB per day and toss it in the trash. With the idea that, when all the BBs are gone, I won’t miss Kid A any more.
With Dan, it’s winter. He died in early December, just when snow was starting to be more probable than rain. I told myself I would try to miss him less once winter was past. Even though it was his idea to move to Wisconsin, he always hated winter.
I saw the first open forsythia blossom this morning, so it must be spring. It was not a happy flower. Yesterday the sky had a regular hissy-fit, and we got freezing rain, sleet, thunder, lightning, snow, smelt, spelt and I don’t know what all else. By this morning all lawns were white, but with half an inch of green poking out the top. That poor forsythia was giving the whole scene the gimlet eye and wondering why it hadn’t stayed asleep.
Not me, though. Any spring is better than none. Maybe when nature does its thing, and I’m no longer missing leaves and bugs and fresh peaches, I won’t miss my husband so much either.